Time has passed so quickly. The last months have been the most tiring of my whole life, but I wouldn’t change them with anything else. And I may not have this experience again in the future, so I’m also sad it’s coming to an end.
They’ve been the months that my older son started talking, started doing new things and continued being so naughty! I managed to find some time to sit down only when he was in bed and sometimes he decided not to take a nap in the afternoon, so this meant I couldn’t have a break at all during the day. Sometimes I feel I’m not enough for him.
At the same time, I had to take care of my baby who was making sure to attract my attention with many kicks in my belly and a lot of tiredness. During the last months he has amazed us with his moves! I have never seen a belly moving like this. I have become a belly dancer without trying!
I remember that during my first pregnancy I worked until late in the evening, I did all the housework, went to the supermarket and never complained. Nevertheless, I felt guilty when I worked long hours or had to do tiring tasks because of my work or deal with stupid people.
This time looking after M. was enough to make me feel like I had worked for hours. And although we spent the day together, I have missed hugging him like I used to. I am huge!
My appearance has also changed. I have to admit I don’t really care, it will be a nice challenge to try to discover my old self, or a new one different. I haven’t dyed my hair for almost a year, my head is full of silver highlights as I call my grey hair, I didn’t paint my nails during the pregnancy just to make sure I don’t use anything dangerous, my feet are so fat I had to buy bigger shoes and I have gained 19 kilos.
At the moment I am excited because my new baby will be in my arms soon, but I can’t hide how scared I am. Maybe this time I’m more afraid than the first time. Now I’m already a mum and I’m thinking that if something goes wrong what will happen to my son.
I can’t wait to see the baby’s face! He has been a tough guy and he didn’t let us see his face on any ultrasound. Everytime we went to the hospital we hoped we could see something, but he kept hiding.
And I will miss my big boy the days I’m going to be in hospital. It’s like I have to separate my heart and mind in two places.
Well, I have to go now. Reading through this text I have no idea if anything makes sense. They are just scattered thoughts I wanted to share. I hope you pray for me (whoever your God is!) and I hope to be back soon.
I’m sure I won’t be able to write new posts for a while, but I have prepared a few to publish when I’m back home. So, if you see new posts by me, don’t be surprised.
As a thank you for being here with me as a great company for so long, I’m leaving you with this giveaway I have already presented.