Let’s talk about men!

Ted-how i met your mother

No, this isn’t going to be a post about handsome men like Brad Pitt and other celebrities and their sexy photos. We are going to talk about real men, the ones that live around us and believe it or not they have love issues too.
I’ve always been friends with boys and sometimes I have been a receiver of confessions about their feelings for a girl or about their disappointement after a break-up.

Let me share two real stories about two men in their thirties who have relationship issues and I would explode if I didn’t gossip about them.

The first man, let’s call him Jim, had one major complaint about his life, he couldn’t find a girl. Maybe he used to fall in love with the wrong person and he was always let down at the end. Most times he was chasing ladies whose feelings weren’t mutual. He even considered consulting a professional like 
nyc dating service about his image because he was worried his appearance was a disadvantage. 

That changed a couple of years ago that he started going out with a girl of his age and for the first time he managed to stay with someone for so long. They have common interests and until now they’re happy with their relationship. But as the relationship gets more mature Jim is being pressed from his girlfriend and his own family to start thinking about having a family.

Although all he wanted so many years, was to find someone to settle down, now he isn’t willing to leave his single life. Of course he considers the financial difficulties that they may face in case they get married, but he also feels he isn’t ready to change his lifestyle.

So, the question is what should he do at the moment? Listen to others and put a ring on her finger or wait and see if he starts feeling more comfortable with the idea of leaving his family’s house and make a new beginning?

My reaction was to advise his family not to push him towards something he claims he isn’t ready to do as this may lead to a failed marriage in the future.

What would you suggest?

Let’s talk about the second hurt gentleman, we can call him John.
This story is less serious, but I think it’s more complicated.
John has been in love with a girl, let’s name her Mary, for many many years, but he has never had the chance to reveal his feelings.
The difference from the previous story is that I know both involved people and they have been friends with each other since they were young.

The guy mentions her name a lot in various conversations and even though he has never opened up to Mary, we all know that he likes her more than a friend. For a few years she was with somebody else, but even after her split he hasn’t made a move. I suppose he’s afraid this may destroy their friendship. 

In the past I had tried to understand if there is any possibility that she feels the same way about him, but unfortunately she can’t see him as her boyfriend. 
I have recently met her and she told me that she saw him somewhere and he asked her to call him for something very important. I got the feeling she wasn’t really interested in finding out what he wants to talk to her about.
Two days later I received a phone call from him telling him the same thing about having asked her to contact him, but he hasn’t heard of her yet. He sounded more determined than usually and I had the sense he started hoping something was going to happen with Mary.
We didn’t talk much, but I explained to him that she never showed me that she is interested in him and he shouldn’t have big expectations.

I don’t think it’s her fault that he has feelings for her because as far as I know she never espressed any interest towards him and I could even say she avoids meeting him.

What do you think I should do? Was it a mistake that I told him she isn’t interested or would you do the same?
I don’t want Mary to think I’m trying to persuade her to see him diferently, so I’m thinking of staying out of all this and not to try to contact her about that.

So, what’s wrong with men? Are they like us?
Or do they simply want a girl when they can’t have her and forget about her when she wants to be with them? 

One thing is for sure, if they discover my post, I’ll deny it’s about them!


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