Newly Divorced: 7 Tips on Surviving the First Christmas Holidays Single

divorced-christmas

Surviving Christmas on your own is difficult to even think of. The families everywhere are together so it does not seem right that you should be on your own. Divorcees see this as particularly difficult. They had it and they lost it is what they think, but the key, really, is in embracing it and taking the divorce for what it is, a change and nothing else. Look below to see what you can do to make a smooth transition.The right set of mind

Spend it, do not survive it.  Tips for surviving the holiday is what got your attention, right? The fact that you think you need this is wrong. You can survive years in a coma but you would not really call it time well spent. Open up to being happy and anticipate the holidays the same way you do every year, by thinking what you should do and not how to make it go away.

Make a plan

Even when you were with your partner you probably had to balance each year. Your plan generally greatly depends on your circumstances, but in the past, you were probably bouncing between your family and your in-laws. People find it particularly stressful when they have to balance with their nuclear family, predominantly the children.  If your children are still young and do not have families of their own, you are probably used to spending time with them.  Speak with your partner and see how you can divide the time with your children so as to suit everybody. Once you have the plan, make sure you are ok with it and say something instantly if you are not.

Avoid solitude

Avoid being alone on the important days. I am sure there are friends or family you can visit, so do that. If not, have them around, but whatever you do, do not be alone as you are bound to feel depressed. Try to have a change of scenery and not spend time in your house unless you are entertaining. Being a guest will feel good on many different levels.

Pamper yourself

Having fewer people to take care of means you have more time for yourself. Do something you like. Have a long walk, browse the shop-windows and treat yourself to something. Spend a weekend at the beach, in a spa, skiing, whitewater rafting whatever makes you happy, relaxed or adventures. This is an opportunity to do something for yourself surrounded by people and an environment unburdened by your family affairs.

Keep the holiday spirit high

Do not forget what this season is about. If you enjoy decorating your house and making Christmas decorations do it for yourself. Listen to carols and watch nativity plays. Volunteer at your local community and help those in need. Be grateful for what you have and the new chances in life. You are at a new beginning and you need to see where you want to go from there.

Adjust to the new circumstances

Let’s say you are spending the Christmas Eve with your children. Do not try to overcompensate for not having the other parent there. Also, be sure that it will not be the same as it was the previous years. It does not mean it is bad but simply different. Family lawyers Sydney area offers say that most of what happens between partners over holidays is not relaxed but a tension bomb which builds up while you are trying to seem relaxed. Statistics show that divorce rates sore after family breaks as there is so much to do within a moderately short period of time while constantly being in each other’s way. This means that the chances are that what was going on before, probably was not even that great but just what you are used to.  

New traditions

Speaking of adjustment, this is a major one. If you cannot keep up with an old tradition, drop it and think of something similar you can do. Do not worry about the children, they get easily excited and they will readily jump into anything you have to offer. If there are no children involved, new traditions are a must as the old ones will only remind you of your partner no matter how strong you are and how well you are coping.

 

Perhaps you did not ask for it, but you have been given a chance to start your emotional life from the beginning. If the other side does not want you, they do not deserve you. This may be a gift you did not ask for, but it is certainly one you should be happy about. Remember, you are not alone and as they say, a good divorce is better than a bad marriage.

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