Lately you hear a lot about bullying. Of course, everybody says they’re against it, but is it really true?
I’ve always believed that kids and teenagers’ attitude depends on their parents. Children have their own personality, but it’s their parents’ responsibility to make sure their kids don’t harm others.
Sadly, I discovered that even from a very young age, parents give their children the right to be mean, hurt other children and they are indifferent if their children hit, humiliate or tease their peers.
Today I left the park where I go with my son very furious. We go there almost every day and although it isn’t very close to our house I prefer to walk for a quarter even now that I am pregnant instead of going to other parks closer because I feel it’s safer there.
Except for the fact that it’s a space where little kids can play without the fear they’ll end up in the middle of the street, I also like that all children share their toys. I know that some children bring bikes, balls, toy cars, etc, so we bring ours too. And they all prefer the toys which belong to somebody else.
So, today I could feel from the beginning that there was some negativity. Yesterday afternoon we went to that park again and as usually my son was playing with his ball. When another boy of the same age wanted to take the ball, I told my son to go play with him, so my son gave him the ball. The other boy didn’t give it back, so when my son eventually took it back he didn’t give it to him either. All this lasted less than a minute and it’s something normal to happen between little children. That was all, but the other boy’s grandma looked upset. I should mention that we meet them almost every day and we always give him my son’s bike, toys, etc.
The ball was missing at the end!
When we met his grandma again today, I heard her saying again and again to another woman that the previous day they forgot to bring a ball with them and it was a disaster, like something bad had happened, she was implying that others didn’t give them their toys. I also noticed she didn’t want my son to use her grandson’s toys. I tried to take my son away from them and I resisted not asking her if she was talking about me.
Many times other kids take all of my son’s toys and they don’t even let him play with them. They say ‘go’ and they push him. I always try to attract his attention on something else, but I’m surprised with their mothers’ indifference.
What happened today and made me so angry that I took my son and left almost crying was that he took a girl’s ball and the girl who is more than a year older together with another boy attacked him. They pulled him from his jumper, threw him down and tried to take the ball by pushing him from his neck. I shouted at him to give the ball like I always do when somebody wants something he holds and took the ball to give it to them. Seconds later, the ball came next to him again and the whole incident repeated. The only thing I said to the other kids was “He always gives you all his toys, why don’t you let him play with your ball too?”. And that was true, before all this started the girl was on my son’s bike and the boy was playing with my son’s toys like every day.
What I couldn’t believe was that the whole time the girl’s mum was watching smoking her cigarette and she didn’t make any attempt even to pretend that she cared. My son, who isn’t a saint, but I’m always next to him to make sure he won’t hurt himself or somebody else, was lying on the ground when two older kids were attacking him and her mum didn’t even say a word like it was something acceptable.
I will continue going to the same park, and the next time that something like this happens, I’ll have a talk with the kid’s parent. It wasn’t the first time that somebody treats him badly and their mum doesn’t bother, but enough is enough…
Now I admire my son who is only 21 months old and when two 3-year old kids bullied him he didn’t do what they wanted him to do and they didn’t manage to take the ball from him.
I know that when he receives this kind of behaviour, he will start behaving like this too and I’m afraid that he may become violent too, but I’ll try to not let this happen.
Although he is so young, when we returned home I tried to explain to him that he has to stay away from kids who don’t want him and he’s doing the right thing that he’s letting everybody play with his toys.
Even when he sees another kid cry, he takes a toy to give it to them.
If you let your child behave like this when he/she is only 2-3 years ago and you accept this kind of attitude, do you think they’ll have a better character when they grow older?
Or do you believe that kids should solve their own differences so that they become strong and independent?
But, when YOUR child is the victim, do you still have the same reaction?