And they lived happily ever after…
This is how most of our childhood’s fairy tales end. They fought for their love. They won all the witches and the dragons and they started their common life as a couple.
But the witches and the dragons are still there, hiding behind our expectations from our spouse and the new situation in our lives. We tend to shape our common life with our husband or wife using our beliefs and we don’t realize that we come from different families, even different countries or cultures. Therefore, we have a variety of ways and standards that we must combine to make this marriage work.
In many cases, it is easy to overcome these differences and create a happy life based on the similarities and the intimacy that keep a couple together.
Nowadays, in societies that live in fast forward trying to keep up with technology and all the changes that come along, the daily routine, stressful and demanding working environments, worldwide crises, etc. can create anxiety, anger, depression and many other mental issues.
There may come a point where all the oppositions rise up and bring to the surface arguments and problems which destroy the balance and the harmony between the partners and in the entire family, if there are children. We treat each other as if we were enemies. We blame the other person for all the difficulties that have occurred. We find the time to complain but never take the time to listen. Tensed situations tend to be our common ground. As a result, the distance within the couple gets bigger and bigger day by day.
This is the moment that one, or even both, of the spouses starts to feel tired, angry, neglected, underestimated, limited in a relationship that has nothing more to offer than pain.
Thus, choosing to see a marriage counselor seems the only way to see things through. The counselor, in spite of what people believe is not a referee nor a person to solve our problems for us.
The marriage counselor will help us recognize our roles in the family, to acknowledge our needs, our desires and our goals as partners, parents in case we are, and as individuals. He or she will reflect the whole picture that we may not be able to conceive as we are a part of the problem. It is important to understand that it is up to us to open our mind and our heart, to develop empathy and to be willing to see things under a new perspective.
Consequently, through the therapeutic procedure we will be in position to evaluate each situation with a clearer and wider understanding and to be able to make decisions and choices in such a way so that we reinvent the happy ending.
But, please, be aware! This happy ending could mean we have gained the knowledge on how to handle our challenges and stay together or, sometimes, that we have reached the maturity to admit to ourselves that the best way is to be apart.
Whatever the decision a couple should make, BetterHelp counseling can provide a healthy environment to work things out, and can definitely help in a couple’s journey towards a life of happiness and fulfillment.
About the author:
Rania Koliou is a woman who enjoys traveling, reading, dance and sports. She is a mother of three girls. She has found her life purpose in helping wherever possible. She has studied Integrative counseling and she is a reiki practitioner.