After a shattering and disruptive event such as divorce or breakup it is only natural to be down in the doldrums. Short and cold days are not really helping better your mood either, quite the opposite. Likewise, upcoming festivities can make you feel even lonelier.
But, rest assured that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can get there if you just take one step at a time, and you can soon regain your independence and confidence. Even if nothing will go back to the way it was, it’s fine.
So, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and shift from being a victim to being a true survivor.
Changing the mental tape
Adjusting to new everyday matters can be a daunting challenge, but you have to face the music. Understand what you are dealing with. A divorce is a moment of financial, physical, and emotional disentanglement. What you need is to get a sense of closure, not the feeling of being stuck in a loop.
So, transition into a new mindset and disperse the clouds of doom and gloom. Know, that a bitter, unforgiving heart can be a major obstacle on your way to fostering a positive change and letting go.
Next, take a good look around you and make changes to your living environment. Clean out your closet and declutter your home. Get rid of everything that triggers negative emotions and reminds you of your ex-partner.
Some isolation can help in this contemplative stage, but you also have to stop plowing a lonely furrow. It might even be a good idea to examine your feeling in a therapeutic setting. Your friends can be great support as well.
Financial house cleaning
The end of the year is a good moment to tie up loose ends. There are many small steps that, when they add up, make a big difference.
First off, get your financial house in order. Divorce brings forth profound changes and certainly impacts your budget. If you are managing your finances on your own for the first time in a while, brace yourself. You need to plan ahead of time to shield yourself from any nasty surprises.
Make sure to get familiar with the specifics regarding your debt and credit, and figure out how to protect and improve your credit score. Assemble a savings and/or emergency fund for peace of mind.
Turning a new leaf
Seize the moment: Ditch bad habits and make room for new, empowering routines.
Physical activity is, hands down, the best way to keep depression, stress, and fatigue at bay. Of course, the weather does not encourage you to undertake outdoor escapades, and holiday feasting makes it hard to diet properly. Still, that is not an excuse to forsake your own body and neglect your well-being.
Exercise and nutrition are two key components of a healthy lifestyle. Thus, do not use food to console yourself and resist the temptation to go into hibernation mode. Instead, try to get active. Exercise at home, go to the gym, or get into some thrilling winter sports.
An extra mile
Get a physical from your doctor and do all the necessary exams. Indulge yourself a bit and find joy in the art of beautifying and grooming yourself. After all, now you have more time for yourself, so why not make the most of it? Have a massage, go to the spa, do teeth whitening, and treat yourself with a pedicure.
One thing that helps melt away the stress is playing with your kids. Try to treasure every moment with them. Do not let remaining ties with your ex-partner, such as alimony, shared custody or support throw you off balance.
Finally, bear in mind that traveling is one of the best ways to open yourself to new experiences. Visit a destination you have dreamed of for a long time. Commit to your own growth and introspection and expand your horizons.
Start with a clean slate
After a divorce or breakup, many women feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. Still, there is not much time to dwell on the loss and grieve. Make a conscious and active effort to move on from your divorce or breakup and build a successful single life.
Dedicate time to yourself and learn to be self-reliant. Do not let financial woes add fuel to the emotional fire. Soothe your mind, body, and soul. Channel your energy into building a better relationship with yourself and the world around you.
About the author:
Claire Hastings is a wanderer and a writer. She writes as long as she can remember, and she is very passionate about fashion, running, other cultures, and her cat.